Tuesday 28 October 2014

The One Word Successful People Never Say


  Words matter. What you say can affect how people perceive you. Ideally, the words you use will elevate you and motivate those around you. They should not hurt you or your relationships. Viewing every conversation as an opportunity to create a positive impression or experience will help you be terrific.

 A VP of Sales who I worked closely with before I co-founded Aha! always said "honestly" when he really wanted something. He thought that it was a way to make a hard point, but we all questioned whether he was lying to us at all other times. 

 We smirked whenever he said it and alarm bells went off in my head. Beginning a request with “honestly” didn’t inspire anyone around him to give him whatever he wanted in a better or faster fashion; it just made us suspicious of him. Why?

'' To be credible, you should be straightforward every time. And when you are, no qualifier like “honestly” is needed. Authenticity is the only honesty you need.''


 I believe that “honestly” is the most damaging word in business for three reasons:


 Destroys your credibility
 Using the term “honestly” at best undermines and at worst destroys your credibility. Some people will react like I did to the sales VP and question your overall transparency – or your level of dishonesty in other situations. Using that term calls one’s integrity into question.

 Window to your frustration
 Employing a term like “honestly” is like a “tell” in poker: it grabs attention, sometimes when you least want it and often after someone has disagreed with you. Don’t let your words be a window to your frustration! Whatever frustration you have is best communicated with direct words – and yes, communicated honestly. Use your clarity of thought and tone to share your point-of-view. Don't let threatening words like "honestly" to try to make your case for you.

 Creates distance
 Prefacing a statement with “honestly” creates distance. It pushes people back, making it harder for them to get close and to see your point. This approach harms your own relationship-building, let alone any argument that you are poised to make. Words matter a lot, and your integrity matters more; don’t compromise it by creating the chasm of a bad impression. To draw people in, be earnest in your interactions every time. 

 Kudos to you if you have learned to avoid using words like "honestly." And if you don't use them, you probably are keenly aware of them when they are spoken.

 "Honestly" might even give you a little scare if it is a word that does not cross your lips. But move beyond the initial shiver because there are insights to be learned. Listen closely for why the speaker chose the word. There is emotion/motivation to be gleaned from whatever follows.

 For the best self-presentation in the workplace, think about the words you use and how you deliver them. Seek language that is clear and positive and which avoids the risk of drawing your integrity into question. Speaking eloquently, confidently, directly, and in an unqualified manner will reduces misunderstandings and will increase respect for you as well as for the message you are delivering.

 Honestly, how do you feel when you hear the word?

Drop your comments and share your experience.

Monday 27 October 2014

A MUST READ: A PROFILE IN FAILURE


  •                              Jay-Z: A Profile in Failure 



The greatest people in history have been failures. Certainly, we remember these individuals as successes--success stories--and we treat those stories as legends and those individuals as gods. But each of them failed epically and repeatedly, more so than the combined successes of all of humanity.

 Failure should not be overlooked in anyone, especially not those we admire. It is through failure that these individuals were able to learn, grow and ultimately succeed. We know this about ourselves but even as we learn to accept our own failures, sometimes we don’t recognize that the most successful people in the world have had an abundance of failure.

 Our heroes need to be held to the same standard as the ancient Greek gods: awesome but not infallible. Failure is a humbling exercise, both for the observer and the observed. But learning is a humbling process. Once we realize that our heroes are just like us, we can examine how failure drives success. So I’ve started collecting stories about the failures of successful people, as a reminder that if you’re making mistakes and learning from them, you’re actually on the path to success.

 It seems that the darkest parts of the human experience often inspire more creativity than happier times. The stereotype of the tortured-soul artist is based on real characters: Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent van Gogh, Kurt Cobain. They all suffered through great hardships that are reflected in their bodies of work, and they all eventually chose to take their own lives.

 Then there are those who started at the bottom and clawed their way to success and happiness, not only overcoming their rough pasts, but channeling their experiences into impressive works of self-expression. Maya Angelou and Ella Fitzgerald come to mind, as does Shawn Carter, known to many as Jay-Z.

 Worth an estimated $520 million and ranked by Forbes as the 6 most powerful celebrity in 2014, he has sold over 75 million records and received 19 Grammy Awards. He is also a brilliant businessman. He’s a record producer, clothing designer, real estate mogul, and NBA owner, among other things.

 But Jay-Z started life in one of the poorest, most downtrodden places in America. Born in 1969 in the Brooklyn projects, he and his three older siblings were raised by his mother after his father abandoned the family. It was a neighborhood where crime was commonplace and often ignored by authorities: Jay-Z himself shot his brother in the shoulder after an argument but was luckily never charged. Jay-Z showed early academic potential but dropped out of high school to sell crack cocaine, contributing to the decline of his neighborhood. In his own words: “Broad-daylight shoot-outs had our grandmothers afraid to leave the house, and had neighbors who’d known us since we were toddlers forming neighborhood watches against us.

” Even as he was dealing drugs to make money, he wrote lyrics and competed in freestyle rap competitions in his spare time. More than once he read the dictionary cover-to-cover to learn words for his rhymes. He quickly became known locally as a lyrical genius, not just because of his talent for rhyming but also for the way he painted his real life experiences through his lyrics. He told his stories, raw as they were, through his songs. “I was part of a generation of kids who saw something special about what it means to be human—something bloody and dramatic and scandalous that happened right here in America—and hip-hop was our way of reporting that story, telling it to ourselves and to the world.

” After being shot at more than once and having several other near-misses, Jay-Z got tired of the drug scene and decided to make something of himself in the music business. He first partnered with an older rapper and released a song called “The Originators.” The song earned him a feature on MTV but did nothing more. So he convinced various DJs to work with him to record tracks, and then he tried to get a record deal.

 He went to every major label in the country and received rejection after rejection. No one believed there was enough of a market for Jay-Z’s brand of music. It quickly became clear that hip-hop was not going to earn him a living, at least not in the traditional way.

 But Jay-Z was ambitious and took that experience as an opportunity to learn and adapt. Instead of giving up after producers turned him down, he decided to become a producer himself and started a label. He partnered with two friends and created Roc-A-Fella records in 1996, ambitiously named after billionaire John D. Rockefeller. The record label had a rocky start; they lost most of the artists they signed before ever recording an album. By 1997, Jay-Z was still the only artist to release an album at Roc-A-Fella. But Jay-Z and the two other founders persisted.

 That persistence paid off indirectly. Jay-Z built a strong relationship with the producer for Notorious B.I.G., who had become one of hip-hop’s biggest acts. When Notorious B.I.G. died, Jay-Z was asked to collaborate on a posthumous album, Life after Death, which allowed Jay-Z to promote himself and Roc-A-Fella Records, both of which he mentioned and promoted within various songs. 

In 1998, Jay-Z launched his album Vol. 2 which led to his first hit song, “Hard Knock Life,” and from that point on his music legacy was secured. Like so many successes, music is where Jay-Z first failed. Instead of giving up, he leveraged his experience and expertise at producing to propel himself into a music star.

 As for his production company, Roc-A-Fella records went on to great success, culminating in a sale to Def Jam Records for millions. As for Jay-Z, he temporarily retired from hip-hop to become President and CEO of Def Jam, effectively creating a reverse merger where he took over the combined company.

 Of course, he later returned to his artistic passion but Jay-Z continues to build what is now considered one of the largest hip-hop empires. Jay-Z has co-founded or co-owned companies as diverse and successful as Carol’s Daughter, Barkley’s Center, the Brooklyn Nets, 40/40 Club, J Hotels, Rock Nation Sports, and Rocawear—the latter of which he sold to Iconix for $204 million.

 As someone who has seen rock bottom, he often speaks of failure. In his book Decoded, speaking of the song “This Can’t Be Life,” he summed up his thoughts about failure:

 “It was a verse about fear of failure, which is something that everyone goes through, but no one, particularly where I’m from, wants to really talk about. But it’s a song that a lot of people connect to: The thought that “this can’t be life” is one that all of us have felt at some point or another, when bad decisions and bad luck and bad situations feel like too much to bear, those times when we think that this, this, can’t be my story. But facing up that kind of feeling can be a powerful motivation to change. It was for me.

” Mistakes are inevitable: they are accidents and they are unfortunate. Bad upbringings—poor parents, poor environments, just plain being poor—are no better. It is always hard and sometimes next to impossible to break free of situations that are out of your control. But the best of the best do just that. In fact, they do more than escape: they triumph in the face of adversity. They set aside mistakes and life circumstances and instead focus on the future and will themselves to success. Jay-Z certainly fits that profile. But he fits another that is even more instructive than overcoming adversity: he takes failures, embraces them, and allows himself to learn, adapt and evolve. Darwin would be proud.
 Bad Habits that Crush Your Creativity and Stifle Your Success 


  1.  Creating and evaluating at the same time You can’t drive a car in first gear and reverse at the same time. Likewise, you shouldn’t try to use different types of thinking simultaneously. You’ll strip your mental gears. Creating means generating new ideas, visualizing, looking ahead, considering the possibilities. Evaluating means analyzing and judging, picking apart ideas and sorting them into piles of good and bad, useful and useless. Most people evaluate too soon and too often, and therefore create less. In order to create more and better ideas, you must separate creation from evaluation, coming up with lots of ideas first, then judging their worth later.

  2.  The Expert Syndrome This a big problem in any field where there are lots of gurus who tell you their secrets of success. It’s wise to listen, but unwise to follow without question. Some of the most successful people in the world did what others told them would never work. They knew something about their own idea that even the gurus didn’t know. Every path to success is different.

  3.   Fear of failure Most people remember baseball legend Babe Ruth as one of the great hitters of all time, with a career record of 714 home runs. However, he was also a master of the strike out. That’s because he always swung for home runs, not singles or doubles. Ruth either succeeded big or failed spectacularly. No one wants to make mistakes or fail. But if you try too hard to avoid failure, you’ll also avoid success. It has been said that to increase your success rate, you should aim to make more mistakes. In other words, take more chances and you’ll succeed more often. Those few really great ideas you come up with will more than compensate for all the dumb mistakes you make.

 4.  Fear of ambiguity Most people like things to make sense. Unfortunately, life is not neat and tidy. There are some things you’ll never understand and some problems you’ll never solve. I once had a client who sold a product by direct mail. His order form broke every rule in the book. But it worked better than any other order form he had ever tried. Why? I don’t know. What I do know is that most great creative ideas emerge from a swirl of chaos. You must develop a part of yourself that is comfortable with mess and confusion. You should become comfortable with things that work even when you don’t understand why.

 5. Lack of confidence A certain level of uncertainty accompanies every creative act. A small measure of self-doubt is healthy. However, you must have confidence in your abilities in order to create and carry out effective solutions to problems. Much of this comes from experience, but confidence also comes from familiarity with how creativity works. When you understand that ideas often seem crazy at first, that failure is just a learning experience, and that nothing is impossible, you are on your way to becoming more confident and more creative. Instead of dividing the world into the possible and impossible, divide it into what you’ve tried and what you haven’t tried.
There are a million pathways to success.

  1.  6.  Discouragement from other people Even if you have a wide-open mind and the ability to see what’s possible, most people around you will not. They will tell you in various and often subtle ways to conform, be sensible, and not rock the boat. Ignore them. The path to every victory is paved with predictions of failure. And once you have a big win under your belt, all the naysayers will shut their noise and see you for what you are — a creative force to be reckoned with.


 7.  Being overwhelmed by information It’s called “analysis paralysis,” the condition of spending so much time thinking about a problem and cramming your brain with so much information that you lose the ability to act. It’s been said that information is to the brain what food is to the body. True enough. But just as you can overeat, you can also overthink. Every successful person I’ve ever met has the ability to know when to stop collecting information and start taking action. Many subscribe to the “ready – fire – aim” philosophy of business success, knowing that acting on a good plan today is better than waiting for a perfect plan tomorrow.

             8.  Being trapped by false limits Ask a writer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves words. Ask a designer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves visuals. Ask a blogger for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves a blog. We’re all a product of our experience. But the limitations we have are self-imposed. They are false limits. Only when you force yourself to look past what you know and feel comfortable with can you come up with the breakthrough ideas you’re looking for. Be open to anything. Step outside your comfort zone. Consider how those in unrelated areas do what they do. What seems impossible today may seem surprisingly doable tomorrow. If you recognize some of these problems in yourself, don’t fret. In fact, rejoice! Knowing what’s holding you back is the first step toward breaking down the barriers of creativity. How about you? What mental habit has been hardest on your creativity? Let us know in the comments how you’ve handled it.

Manchester united fans react on Twitter to Januzaj performance vs Chelsea

But Why!!!?

Sunday 12 October 2014

Adam Levine, Kanye West & More: Sexy Men Who Flaunt Wedding Rings



There’s nothing sexier than a guy flaunting his love for his lucky lady. Check out our gallery of the hottest celeb men showing off their wedding rings!

As much as we hate it when our favorite male celebs get hitched, we love it when they flaunt their wedding rings! It’s so sweet and makes us totally swoon.Adam Levine, 35,George Clooney, 53, and more married celebs love parading their bands around after saying “I do!”


Adam Levine Wedding Ring Photos

Ah, we never thought we’d see the day when the Maroon 5 frontman got hitched. The singer said “I do” on July 19 to Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo, 25.
Since then, the singer has made a number of appearances and he’s been showing off his sweet wedding band!
Adam and Behati made their first appearance as a married couple  at the MTV Video Music Awards on Aug. 24. Fresh off his wedding, Adam sported his wedding band while walking hand-in-hand with his love.

He flashed the ring onstage while performing his hit song “Maps!” How could you not notice.Sorry, ladies. Adam is a taken man.

George Clooney Wedding Band With Amal Alamuddin

We never thought we’d see the day when George got married again. He said “I do”to Amal Alamuddin on Oct. 11 in Italy. After their gorgeous wedding, the newlyweds stepped out flashing their wedding bands!
We loved how George and Amal weren’t shy about showing off their love! George and Amal forever!
HollywoodLifers, who is the hottest male celeb showing off their wedding ring? (We know. It’s a tough decision.) Sound off in the comments and vote now!

Tuesday 7 October 2014

This is Naijazine Blog: Pres. Jonathan to Attend United States-African Lea...

Pres. Jonathan to Attend United States-African Lea...: ABUJA (NAN)  ―  President Good luck Jonathan will on Sunday leave for Washington, DC to participate in a three-day United States-Afric...

This is Naijazine Blog: Pres. Jonathan to Attend United States-African Lea...

Pres. Jonathan to Attend United States-African Lea...: ABUJA (NAN)  ―  President Good luck Jonathan will on Sunday leave for Washington, DC to participate in a three-day United States-Afric...